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Carol Grigg Counselling

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Validating "vignettes"


Some thoughts following our workshop with Tony Attwood on 7 March 2015

Posted on August 8, 2015 at 11:04 PM
How can one add anything to the words of Tony Attwood? (

We were educated and inspired and validated and challenged by Tony’s presentation at our workshop on Saturday 7th March.  And perhaps I should add discouraged and grief-stricken for some or many too.  It is no easy life, with no easy solutions.

There was a strong sense of warmth and identification among all those present and the ASPIA members who were in attendance were lovely hosts, caring for others and being a source of information and support throughout the day.  I felt very proud to be part of our group.  (

We have added a number of new partners to our mailing list and expect a few new ones to attend our monthly meetings.

We have also added a few new professionals to our website list.  One in Wyong (Central Coast NSW), and two in Canberra.

It was clear from Tony’s presentation that there is more material and professional help available now for couples and Tony discussed the possibility of returning with one of his colleagues to do a couples workshop for a limited number of participants.  We will let you know when this is likely to happen.

Our own Sydney Psychologist Jeroen Decates is also working towards offering couples workshops, and already holds a couples group for those he is working with.  Jeroen’s contact details are on the ASPIA website.

I’m afraid I’m a bit lost for words at the moment for writing a thought, it’s a bit like, “where do I start?”.

One little snippet Tony said that’s helpful to know is that when your AS partner answers “I don’t know”, it may just mean, “I don’t have the words to tell you”.  They have a lot of difficulty with vocabulary for emotions and self-reflection.  They can also tend to feel they need to give the “right” answer and they don’t know what this is, so it’s better not to say anything.

The problem of “negativity” came up too.  One person asking if Aspies tend to be negative because of all the difficulty they had growing up, but Tony said he sees it as actually coming with the territory.  Aspies tend to have negative thinking and be pessimistic.  He also said that many NT’s tend to be optimistic.  I think this might lend itself to another whole discussion sometime.

April 2015

Categories: Asperger Syndrome (Autism Spectrum Disorder) in Relationships

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