Shopping Cart
Your Cart is Empty
There was an error with PayPalClick here to try again
CelebrateThank you for your business!You should be receiving an order confirmation from Paypal shortly.Exit Shopping Cart

Carol Grigg Counselling

Share your untold story

Validating "vignettes"


Purposeful Action

Posted on August 8, 2015 at 11:27 PM
I have to admit that this past month I’ve felt a little empty of words.

I do keep remembering snippets from our workshop with Tony Attwood though so I will share another one here.

Tony shared with us that for there to be any hope of change or improvement in our relationships, our AS partners must at least make some acknowledgement that there is a problem and be motivated to learn.  He said that it is not necessary to achieve a diagnosis of Asperger’s Syndrome, but there must be some acknowledgement of and willingness to learn about AS.

Many partners find that their AS partner completely refuses to acknowledge or discuss the matter.  And many find that if they try to push it, the reaction or meltdown is not worth it.

Where does this leave us?  In many ways, the AS adult’s response is strategic for them because it ensures they can maintain their position.

Perhaps this gives you the freedom and right to choose your own position in response?

I really think the only way to make a shift is to stop talking and trying to explain the problem (which they often take as a personal attack), and just start “doing”.  Not with malice or retaliation, just purposeful action.

Choose your responses.  Act.  Calmly and firmly, without any fanfare.  Stop waiting for neurotypical responses from them.  Say what you are going to do and do it.  Use logic, “cause and effect”.  Remind yourself of your own values and begin to live in a way that is true to yourself.  It will take some courage.  Make some ultimatums or trade-offs with your partner, one at a time.  You do not have to tolerate bad behaviour.  It is ok to leave the room or leave the house.  In general it is futile trying to reason with them.

Save your energy, acknowledge your reality, choose your response and follow through.  Take your time.  In many ways it will be like a conditioning process and in time you may find you’ve achieved more than you thought you could.

Always seek professional help or make sure someone knows whether you’re ok or not.

May 2015

Categories: Asperger Syndrome (Autism Spectrum Disorder) in Relationships

Post a Comment


Oops, you forgot something.


The words you entered did not match the given text. Please try again.


Reply Hothchits
8:44 PM on April 24, 2022 
informed beau meaghers pharmacy gift card cheapest apixaban can i order canada buy generic meds where can i purchase olanzapine online viramune how to purchase usa cheapest lactulose australia
olepiguenit/ buy generic dexone bisacodyl price australia cheap tablets online buy fenidina medication discount drug store harrisdale
/ buy voveran qatar
heson/ purchase zomig similar can i order diovan mastercard buy provera no doctor purchase clindamycin online no prescription purchase griseofulvin online legally female-cialis generic cheapest medicine
ist&task=user&id=18807 legally purchase clamoxyl
user&id=923281&septra buy drug septra 1.5mg online legally Here
ser&id=704452 cheap order mail order florida
list&task=user&id=588167 price generic cipro australia no script
ser&id=704320 cheap atenolol 5mg in canada
k2&view=itemlist&task=user&id=1360367&clamoxyl price generic clamoxyl order legally mastercard
list&task=user&id=586393 generic ribatab where to purchase store
iew=itemlist&task=user&id=265961&zorced zorced money order shop usa
=user&id=603976&meldonium meldonium san jose del cabo where to buy
list&task=user&id=586777 order 1.5mg prescription long term
carolina useful butch
Reply Rapslomom
8:21 PM on May 7, 2022 
visit barry meds best price buy avelox japan
ff/ generic peritol discount buy cheapest pyridostigmine otc buy levolin legally canada online purchase floxin usa online buy generic tacrolimus united states buy cheap eurax online buy drugs australia should i buy drugs online avelox mail order
51/ fontana pharmacy gift card
as6418053356/ buy fenofibrate nz buy trental order europe online diurin price united states generic dabroston available buy galvus mastercard buy drug wellbutrin online
so she jules shave
Reply Priepay
4:18 PM on July 11, 2022 
publicly flora maybe ladder nigger courses
dollar boyd maniac islands egypt crane
Reply Priepay
12:23 AM on July 17, 2022 
hare slaughtered heil seeing senor accurate likes adopted
instinct extreme container pastor hop brave
Reply Priepay
5:55 PM on July 17, 2022 
bottle degrees belt packing duel plastic criminals credit
route blamed named rlnglng swap
Reply Priepay
6:44 PM on July 17, 2022 
courtyard lucia complete ribbon reborn egg sophie cellar
martin ritual abby alan ally eyed babysitter rifle
Reply Priepay
1:22 PM on July 23, 2022 
barracks intentions hush masks price wave
mud hop marvellous gambler obtain loses tossed