Shopping Cart
Your Cart is Empty
There was an error with PayPalClick here to try again
CelebrateThank you for your business!You should be receiving an order confirmation from Paypal shortly.Exit Shopping Cart

Carol Grigg Counselling

Share your untold story

Validating "vignettes"


Contradictions in the avoidance of conflict

Posted on March 8, 2022 at 8:25 PM

I continue to be troubled by an incident at my workplace yesterday. Not for how it left me feeling, but because from what I knew of the “offenders” historically, they were very fragile people “psychologically” and, in spite of my own distress in the situation, I actually felt compassion for them. Sadly, in their effort to enforce their own boundary in a particular situation, they in fact set up a confrontation with staff and others which of course they then couldn’t cope with and proceeded to behave very badly as a result. I’m sure they went home shaken and angry, believing their own “stand” to be a justifiable “right”, but their unwillingness to comply with a “reasonable” request in particular circumstances had set up the confrontation. They tried to present paperwork claiming “exemption” from what we requested, but there were over-riding factors, policies and issues that required us to require compliance while they were present in our facility which was shared with other physically vulnerable people.

As situations so often do, it triggered my thoughts about ASD in relationships, the subject I frequently write about. A common topic of sharing in our support group meetings and in counselling sessions is the inflexibility of the person on the Spectrum in a range of circumstances, but particularly in the home. This relates to what I’ve written about in my new book “Straight talk for partners” about fixed views, perspectives, opinions, procedures for tasks, etc. I believe I can see that the person with ASD adopts a stance on many things, believing this will actually remove potential for discussion, challenge, confrontation or conflict, when in fact in this crazy challenging world, a fixed stance on anything actually sets up challenge, confrontation and conflict because none of us can navigate our daily exchanges with other people and circumstances without discussion and negotiation. Hopefully, we mostly do this respectfully.

Of course, formal policies and procedures are in place in many situations to reduce hazards and risks in order to keep people safe, meaning there are times when we all have to comply with these “rules” as it were, but so many of life’s situations require comprehension of the bigger picture, the reasonableness to take into account the varying needs of everyone present, the ability to compromise or relinquish one's "perceived" rights in the situation, and awareness of the outcomes that are being aimed at. This is defined as “cooperation” and “collaboration” for the greater good.

Whilst we are aware of and admire many people with ASD who are able to see and take brave stands for “big world” issues that affect the globe, or to show compassion in relation to disadvantaged groups of people or animal welfare, in some situations they can seem strangely unaware that those around them, particularly in their immediate space or household are fragile too, are worthy of care, and need considerate and respectful exchanges, not challenge and confrontation for just trying to negotiate a fair and compassionate outcome for all involved.


Categories: Asperger Syndrome (Autism Spectrum Disorder) in Relationships, Life, Neuro-diverse

Post a Comment


Oops, you forgot something.


The words you entered did not match the given text. Please try again.


Reply wDSHWCjdKbB
10:38 PM on March 26, 2022 
Reply Hothchits
6:49 AM on April 24, 2022 
damien forgiven remain
03/ buy real ampicilina cheap buy pregabalin medication america pharmacy coupon
54/ where to buy generic zincovit cheapest promyrtil uk
59/ drugs order now shop europe buy mirtabene romania cheap duetact online store alendronate price australia generic quitaxon where to order florida buy betamethasone-clioquinol shop nz cheap dramamine price
buy kaletra visa medications mail order store usa
6324/ voveran online sale mercury drug store gift certificate
k=user&id=231245 price pimecrolimus legally australia online
ser&id=2156907 reddit buy cheap neo-mercazole
task=user&id=669317 purchase now cheap bystolic mastercard canada
user&id=919287&retrovir purchase retrovir cheap
task=user&id=3030323&biselect what biselect looks like
ser&id=702623 purchase imitrex detroit
&task=user&id=569052 fluticasone 50mg with discover card
ask=user&id=170716 order now cheap order shopping uk
=user&id=747576 cheap cetirizine-ambroxol purchase now europe see all
t&task=user&id=570188&dydrogesterone agcode buy online dydrogesterone Get more
ask=user&id=171130 purchase cheap order online shopping europe
task=user&id=3029713 zofran online shop money order
ask=user&id=171296 price generic novidat internet
ask=user&id=170721&telfast where to buy telfast 1.5mg in korea
until bathtub remarkable commercial gross
Reply Hothchits
2:09 AM on April 26, 2022 
barbara dante allopurinol best price cost of procrit uk buy dramamine without dr
/ generic norodol in usa buy prednisolone bitcoin How do you use a pharmacy coupon
1/ legally buy tenofovir online drug store discount code buy urivoid switzerland cheapest mirena buy medications thailand buy drugs singapore cheapest cetirizine uk buy now cheap zovast shop otc buy cheapest sinemet uk buy arpimune denmark
emlist&task=user&id=168946&simlup simlup buy otc
user&id=847760 purchase lipicard order available australia online
user&id=920163&trental brand trental online
user&id=920313 generic latanoprost order california
ter7/ Web site
ser&id=285922&primosiston how to buy cheap primosiston otc
k2&view=itemlist&task=user&id=1357014 want to buy simvor 100mg mastercard read all
uri-2016-umwami-wa-nyuma-wu-rwanda-yaguye-ishyanga/ vaniqa purchase now shop california
emlist&task=user&id=168038&zorparine zorparine where to purchase now florida web site
t&task=user&id=272261 generic order 1mg pictures web
emlist&task=user&id=168090&primolut-n where to buy primolut-n 200mg online with mastercard
user&id=919727 can you buy eliquis over the counter in portugal
emlist&task=user&id=168578&pyridium mail order cheapest pyridium pharmacy uk
wired conclusion continent oak
Reply Hothchits
12:27 AM on April 27, 2022 
unidentified jew survived reliable pharmacy coupon code online order prescription ropinirole generic milurit lowest price
570 lowest prices evista uk drugs online pharmacy zolmist order buy cheapest labetalol uk buy reglan no rx buy cytomis over the counter buy naltrexone singapore german drugstore coupon atenolol uk order lipanthyl buy shop uk
g/ ribavirin without dr can i order singulair mastercard where to buy ditropan
mlist&task=user&id=426530&bupropion order bupropion 2mg online india
itemlist&task=user&id=227586 order order 10mg tablets online More
&id=402446 buy duvadilan kada
task=user&id=3027934&rogaine cheapest rogaine money order online mastercard
&id=402618&bystolic where to buy bystolic 350mg in hanoi
sk=user&id=203166&cetirizine-ambroxol buy cetirizine-ambroxol 1.5mg in the uk online
ser&id=281749&ebesetron cheap ebesetron order shopping australia
mlist&task=user&id=426471&orligal orligal how to purchase visa florida
vladimir crylng commissioner ketchup drop
Reply bmUIxyNV
9:55 AM on May 5, 2022 
Reply clqxUkiob
10:08 PM on May 12, 2022 
Reply Rapslomom
4:00 AM on May 16, 2022 
involving interference parked card circus order kamagra paypal where to buy tacrolimus
sh922/ buy aloperidin without dr should i buy prometrium online generic combivir for cheap
price persantine legally australia olmesartan price australia cheap vepesid online store
yes godfather